|Review: Dimmu Borgir - Puritanical Euphoric Misanthropia|
|Puritanical Euphoric Misanthropia|
Label: Nuclear Blast
Year released: 2001
Genre: Black Metal
Review online: July 15, 2008
Reviewed by: Larry Griffin
for:Puritanical Euphoric Misanthropia
Rated 3.15/5 (63%) (60 Votes)
I wonder why Dimmu Borgir makes albums. You could listen to the first three songs and get an idea of what the rest of the album will sound like. There's really no point in listening to a whole hour of this senseless, baseless crap, because listening to the first three songs will give you the same sensation that listening to the whole album would, and that sensation would be something like "Man, this is boring, why have I been listening to this for so many hours?", followed by an irritated glance at the timer on the CD player or MP3 timer, whereupon you see that you are only two minutes into "Blessings Upon the Throne of Tyranny."
Everything about this band is completely lame, sterilized and unintentionally hilarious. I mean, look at the song titles, and see awful puns like "IndoctriNation" and terrible, intentional misspellings like "Sympozium" and especially the brainless inanity of "Absolute Sole Right" and "Perfection or Vanity." Look at the band themselves, dressed in their faggottastic corpse paint, ever the evil metal warriors of the new millennium, poised for their next melted butter lathering orgy. Of course, that has no bearing on the music, but what else am I supposed to focus on? The music? This is so overloaded with keyboard trills and blastbeats and "beautiful" symphonics and heavy arena metal riffs that it's completely bloated. The vocals are a horrible blackened screech that sometimes go into a robotic sort of drone, and although I just reviewed Cynic's Focus and said that these were well done there, here it doesn't fit at all. There are clean vocals, too, and while they aren't as bad as they could be, they don't help this mess at all. This is just TOO MUCH. Dimmu Borgir know no restraint or shame as they shamble through each painful, self-indulgent pile of piss that they called a song, and it's all so gratuitously wrong that you want to slap them upside the collective head and knock some sense into their stark-white corpse paint clad heads. And it is wrong, being generally unappealing and abrasive on all accounts, and not really being marketed to anyone with the right amount of chromosomes. It won't sell to Black Metal fans because it's really, really gay shit, and it won't sell to fans of more melodic Metal because it's too harsh and blasting for their ears to handle, but people are eating this up like chicken wings anyway, so I guess that leaves something to be said about the mainstream's taste in music.
Even more ludicrous are the claims that this is Black Metal, because this is the silliest, most pompous, overblown crap I've ever heard. Dimmu Borgir try so hard to come off as evil - you can just hear it; it bleeds from their music like pus from a fresh wound - but really, go listen to Ninnghizhidda if you want evil with symphonics and class.
As for this? Well, I'm going to go back to pretending I never heard this abomination. Avoid this if you have any semblance of good taste at all, for it is the embodiment of everything wrong with the modern extreme metal scene.
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