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Review: Human Mastication - Grotesque Mastication of Putrid Innards
Human Mastication
Grotesque Mastication of Putrid Innards

Label: Sevared Records
Year released: 2008
Duration: 30:59
Tracks: 8
Genre: Death Metal

Rating: 0.5/5

Review online: January 21, 2009
Reviewed by: Mike Henn
Readers Rating
Grotesque Mastication of Putrid Innards

Rated 2.67/5 (53.33%) (9 Votes)

Imagine a scenario where you are a captured POW. The enemy tortures and starves you for weeks, and on the day of your execution, they ask you to choose to be killed by either sodomization by cactus or being nipple clamped to death. Only then, you wake up and realize it was all a dream. Except in real life, your name is Rodney King and you are currently getting your ass beaten the fuck down. That's kind of what this album is like, only slightly worse because your case never goes to trial and you never start riots and become famous because of your plight.

Now that I've stolen a Maddox joke, let me make it clear that I mean every last word of that nonetheless. The Philippines' own waste of oxygen, Human Mastication, released their first full length turd (after assumingly pooping out only little rabbit pellets as demos) in 2008. Grotesque Mastication of Putrid Innards is its name, and the garbage is where it belongs. I won't rag on them for the crappy production, but seriously, everything underneath the fuzzy gurgle is pure shit. Every song consists of the same low, groovy chug with random, pointless pinch harmonics surfacing occasionally. The drumming is decent, but its only real shining moment happens about a minute and a half before the record ends, otherwise it just plays the same typical blast patterns throughout the duration. I'd hate to point this out, but this is a perfect counterpoint to the old saying "never judge a book by its cover". Well, the cover to this is the unmistakable style of Tony Koehl, who has also done work for the turdburger, trendy horsecore outfit, Waking the Cadaver. Do the two bands sound alike? Not sure, as I've never subjected myself to more than a minute WtC torture, but all of the hate that gets slung at that band is equally deserved over in this camp. I'd like to point out specific points of contention with the album, but the whole thing is one faceless blur of downtempo chugga chugging in guitars tuned to drop Z. The snare sounds like an actual pan being banged on, and the bass and toms sound like rubber mallets pounding against a tree trunk. I mean look at the fucking song titles for Greek's sake! "Sodomize the Lacerated Rectum"? "Bizarre Museum of Eviscerated Whores"? Did they write these with Death Metal ad libs? If the lyrics are equally as bad, it's impossible to tell with the monotone belch the singer sports. I can't make out syllables, rhythm, cadence, anything, just one low, snoring noise every couple seconds. The sound is bad, the vocals are guttural to the point of near parody, and the music is uninspired and unmemorable, and an overall massive waste of time. I'd say avoid like the plague unless a half hour breakdown with plastic bucket drums and a snoring hippo on the mic gets you off.

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