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Review: Neoandertals - Neanderthals Were Master Butchers
Neanderthals Were Master Butchers

Label: Forensick Music
Year released: 2007
Duration: 29:37
Tracks: 9
Genre: Death Metal

Rating: 0/5

Review online: February 21, 2009
Reviewed by: Tony Augsburg
Readers Rating
Neanderthals Were Master Butchers

Rated 3.13/5 (62.5%) (8 Votes)

So let me tell you about what is good about this band: ..........................................

Yes, that's right absolutely nothing. In my 19 years of hearing music I can honestly say this is one of the most atrociously bad albums I have ever heard. The genius idea of only bass and no guitars seems interesting at first. With the bass down tuned so far that most of the time it is just a constant wall of ear bleeding. There are some of the most boring drums ever. And the vocals are simply generic and have nothing special going for them.

Now that could conclude the review, but obviously that isn't enough. What is really so bad about this? Well adding to the earlier comments, the bass is just so fucking annoying when by itself. One of the few times a bass is audible in a band, only because it is the only form of guitar, and it is one of the only times I do not want to hear the damn bass. Holy Christ, sitting here listening to the songs with my subwoofer is one of the most painful things I have ever endured, and I have been thrown off the hood of a car. It doesn't even sound like the bass player has ever even played before. Anyone could pick up the instrument and flail wildly on the strings, record it, and call it a song with the drums in the background hitting the crash, snare, and bass drums in a somewhat ignorable fashion because the wall of death that is blaring from the speakers is just so atrociously bad that not even a genie could fix their problem.

Never have I come across music so bad, and hopefully I never will come across something this bad ever again. This was seriously so bad that it makes things like 5 Finger Death Punch respectable; even if the music wasn't that bad if you have accomplished a feat such as that you deserve to be lined up and shot execution style because no one should ever have a chance to say such a thing.

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