|Review: Dyecrest - This Is My World|
|This Is My World|
Label: Dockyard 1
Year released: 2005
Genre: Power Metal
Review online: October 7, 2009
Reviewed by: Larry Griffin
for:This Is My World
Rated 3.33/5 (66.67%) (12 Votes)
This album has been like a wart on my ass for the last two weeks. I mean seriously, first I couldn't even listen to it without turning it off before the fourth song, then my headphones broke, and then I got sick and didn't even feel like listening to it at all. That has to be a new record for setbacks in a review. But talking about that isn't enough to dissuade you from checking out this grotesque abomination, so let's forsake our dignity and share my misery with you all:
Dyecrest, if you are blessed with not knowing them, is one of the most provocative Power Metal bands ever, begging such pressing questions as, why do we not make it so you have to have a license to make music? How low can you go before you stop existing altogether as a credible musical outfit? And how many violent murder fantasies does it take to repress This Is My World, the band's second and mercifully last album as of this review? Very important questions and I hope to at least answer a few of them before this review is over.
Dyecrest on this album are playing a rather nondescript, barebones form of Prog/Power Metal, except it doesn't progress and it has no power to it. The guitars are heavy but dull, chucking out blandish riffs that don't have any pulse at all, and the rhythm section is just about as boring as you can get, having a really bad "modern" sound to boot – you know the type; they have that down-tuned, pugilistic sort of groove to them. The vocals are just terrible, sounding like what would happen if Mac McDermott forgot how to control his voice. He has this really wimpy, whiny tone without any semblance of power, charisma or character to it at all. Most of what he sings is actively annoying, being catchy without any real power, like the laziest, most valium-charged pop star I've ever heard. Every song on this thing is full of enervated melodies, dry-humping distorted guitar riffs and drawn out breakdowns that just make you wish you were being slowly castrated by a man in a GIMP mask as an alternative. There's it's just there's nothing on here! I can't even articulate how excruciatingly boring this is! I'd love to describe the music in more detail, but it's really kind of hard to when nothing worth noting really happens a lot of the time. I mean seriously, somehow this band manages to play songs where things happen, but simultaneously, nothing happens – it's quite surreal.
The album sort of crawls on, with each song sounding more and more uninspiring, making white noise look appealing as they show off stupidly simple riffs and choruses so limp-wristed and annoying that they'll make you want to smack the douchebag singing them. Some of the later songs introduce some tough guy hardcore posturing, with some pseudo-Thrash shouting and heavier riffs, and mostly it just makes them sound silly and ridiculous. Oh yeah guys, I'm really intimidated by your use of angry teen-angst style music. I'm just shaking in my boots. Power Metal bands should never do things like this, not unless they're willing to abandon the Power Metal genre altogether and actually sound angry. That takes more than just down-tuned guitar chugging, you retards. Get it right!
For one last nail in the band's coffin, let's just take a look at the very first song the band decided would be good to introduce us to their multi-faceted wonders. After all, the opening song sets the mood for the rest of the album, and a bad one would certainly not bode well. "Fight Fear with Fire," is the song's name, and perhaps an apt description of what to do with this album when you're done listening to it. It starts off with a stupid guitar effect that quickly and clumsily transitions into an even worse main riff – seriously, it's just about the simplest, most basic riff you could ever come up with, and to make things even more painful, it's actually repeated over and over in an almost electronic fashion. The chorus is more dumbass shit that a fourth grader would scoff at, plain and without any kind of power, conviction or style to it. Even the solo, which actually sounds good, is neutered by the horrible bat droppings of the rest of the song. It's like they said, no, we can't let people actually enjoy this song! Throw in some more chunk riffs and another horrible chorus! We just saved the day, boys. Pat yourselves on the back.
I just don't know what they were trying to do on here. Nothing is consistent, with the songwriting changing styles several times and the music being too bland to really have much to say about it. It's just such a boring, annoying, featureless blob of crap that it's almost completely unbearable. The hooks are annoying, the vocals are awful and the songs don't really inspire much of anything, not even disgust. The only thing you can really say about this is that the band can play their instruments well enough to make this sound like music, but that doesn't count for much when the songwriting is such a godforsaken mess. Just avoid this crap, it isn't worth your time.
|Other related information on the site|
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Review: The Way Of Pain (reviewed by Larry Griffin)
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