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My Tr00ly Evol Day

A Humourous Reality Checkā€¦

by Christian Renner

My TrOOly Evol Day,

I woke up late for work (screw those bastards they can wait for me for I am evil)

I didn't shower so those bastards I mentioned could smell the stench of my evilness (by the way is "evilness" a word?).

On my way to work I was driving 666mph in a 65mph speed zone (Well my car doesn't go that fast but I was driving 66mph so I was still technically breaking the law. Speed restrictions for people are not trOOly evil)

I also made a right turn at a red light (wait a minute...fuck that's legal in Iowa...oh well I wasn't sure if it was legal at the time so I am still kinda evil)

At work I didn't do any of my quality control tests and I used the last roll of toilet paper in the bathroom and didn't replace the roll (now if you have been on the shitter and been out of paper you know how truly evil this is).

When my supervisor came up and asked me why I was late I told him that I was busy fucking his fat wife and if he didn't get outta my face I was going to beat him to a bloody pulp (actually I said I overslept and didn't hear the alarm go off. But I was thinking that last statement and if that fucker gets in my face 7 or 8 more times I will let him have it!!).

On the way home I stopped at a fast food place to get some grub and the retard working the drive thru gave me .43 too much change back and I didn't say a fucking word..BWAHHAAHHAAHHAA)

When I got home I stayed up till midnight and called my mom to let her know that I had all the lights on in the house, I was running through the house with scissors in my hand and I was drinking directly from the milk carton. After that I went in the backyard and made my ritualistic sacrifice to Satan (well actually I was to tired and I didn't want to be late for work again so I went to bed...I will make up for it this weekend by having 2 sacrifices to Satan...well one of them is just a bar-b-que I am having since I got a really good deal on some rib-eye's at the local grocery store).

Now that is one day just filled to the breaking point with evilness...bwahahahaha (again is evilness a real word?)


P.S. does anyone remember that old comic book called Groo... that was a pretty funny comic? I don't know why but that just came to mind...probably because I am so EVOL!!!

This is just an example on how ridiculous this argument can become. I have seen it on numerous message boards and it never fails to make me laugh. If you are taking the music this seriously you may have more of a problem than you may know. This is just music after all and not a blueprint on how you should live your life. Now don't get me wrong I am not trying to tell someone how to live their lives, honestly I could really care less how you live your life but getting into an argument to show how "trOO" you really are is pointless as well as just plain ignorant. If you want to run through the woods in the middle of the night wearing corpse paint and swinging an axe all I can say is go ahead and enjoy yourself. The only problems is when people like this get online and denigrate others in an attempt to show their "trOOness". There are enough people that put metal heads down without having fights between us. Plain and simple just get over yourselves and just remember that NO ONE CARES!!!

As Rodney King once said "oww, fuck, shit fuck, ohhh that's gonna leave a mark…can't we all just get along?"

OK, now it's time for a group hug…. :)

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