The Metal Crypt - Grotesque Hysterectomy Interview

Interviews

Interview with Disfigured Chest (vocals)
Interview conducted by Lars Christiansen

Date online: September 20, 2006

Death Metal. Which country would you associate it with? The USA has a huge scene of course, and Sweden certainly deserves a worthy mention... but Norway?! Larson Christiansen delves deep into darkest Oslo, and comes up with stories of disfigurement, weapons smuggling and puke with front man Disfigured Chest of Norwegian upstarts Grotesque Hysterectomy.

(LC) Please could we start off by giving the readers a condensed history of the band?

(DC) Sure thing: Grotesque Hysterectomy started out in 2003 by the brothers Alexander and Christopher Konings - in Asker outside Oslo, Norway. After a couple of "in & outs", the band settled down when throat trasher Disfigured joined the band the shiny summer days of 2005. Later the same year the 7" called "Piercing Through" was recorded.

(LC) Whose was the idea behind the band's name? Why are you the only band member with a pseudonym (that is if DISFIGURED CHEST is not, as I assume in fact your birth name! heheheh) – is it because you're wanted by the police for putting into practice some of your more 'extravagant' lyrics?!

(DC) The band name was Alex's idea (Konings, Grotesque Hysterectomy's Drummer). He took it before I joined and I have no idea why? He's a sick man… He usually says that I am – but compared to him I'm an old Christian-conservative gay. It's a really bad name, but still a really "correct" and perfect one. It tells you a lot about what you are about to hear – but unfortunately I have to repeat it a hundred times for people to remember.

When it comes to my pseudonym… Well… You're right Lars, FUCK you're smart dude! It's not my birth name (Well you can never tell nowadays, with all these hippy parents around! LC). Although it could be - as I am the ugly owner of a Disfigured Chest. Why the fuck I chose to use it as a pseudonym, and why the hell I would WANT a pseudonym - I have no idea. The police know me whatever identity I try to hide behind. Not because I'm a crazy criminal that roams the shitty streets of Oslo with cruel intentions – but because I have been busted for weapon-smugglin' across the border to Germany. Crazy experience, all alone in the middle of the night… German armed guards and angry border-patrols *laughs* All this in a dark and deserted small town between Germany and the Czech Republic. 2003 was the year. It cost me quite some money…

(LC) Errrm… intriguing! Moving swiftly on before the legal writs begin dropping on your door mat, why do you think GROTESQUE HYSTERECTOMY adopted an early US styled leaning of Death Metal, rather than the Scandinavian style one may expect from your home country? Is it simply down to a matter of influences?

(DC) Christopher and Alex, who have written all the shit so far, aren't actually very familiar with all the old US death metal. That somehow really makes me trust that their music is truly genuine and honest. I think we are more unpolished and dirty than most of the US DM, and that's probably why most of our fans are the real underground extreme metal-heads – no trend-jumping metal-fags. Personally I have my own style with my verbal war declarations, which I rarely experiment with or try anything fancy with. I might be influenced by Deicide, Morbid Angel, Obituary – or any other band I have been a fan of for so many years, but if so it was never intended. I just do what I like to hear. We all do. Fortunately there are quite a few people who enjoy it.

Influences here in Norway would have to be very few, as there have never been REAL good DM here I think. Sweden on the other hand have had quite a few – but none that have ever kicked as much ass as any of the aforementioned bands

Black Metal on the other hand has a lot of strong acts here in this land of headless marionettes. – But black metal is not for us. It might be easier for us to go on tour and get a record deal if we went that way – but I usually exemplify it this way: Would you trust a Pakistani that opened up a Chinese restaurant? It has to be real and honest – and a solid reflection of what you really are. Fuck the weak "Spiritual glossary-quoting fragile Gollums" – bow to the Death Machine of Audio Violence!

(LC) In that case, how do you perceive the Norwegian scene at present, with bands such as NIDINGR, CHTON and of course, yourselves raising their heads over the past few years, as well as a lot of the early Norwegian Black metal bands regularly releasing albums recently which have a lot more in common with Death rather than Black metal? Where do you think you fit in on the grand scheme of things?

(DC) We are the misfits, we don't fit in anywhere except in each others company. We look like shit, we think like shit – and we perform shit. When it comes to the Norwegian newborn warriors like those mentioned: Nidingr has a lot of delicious brutality at times, Chton surely also has a lot of good shit going on. We've been fooling around with tour-talk with both those bands actually – so who knows… We might show up if the government doesn't deny us. No we're not killers – yet. But hey; when you look and smell like we do – you usually have a hard time at the airport. Other than that it's actually not very good so I reckon you've mentioned the best ones. Other bands that come powerful these days I must mention Koldbrann. I don't know what they do – but their new shit just kicks ass. Then there's the brightest star of the nordic sea – Thornbound. I think they have a huge potential. Hallelujah?

(LC) What progression do you think GROSTESQUE HYSTERECTOMY have made from their debut release? Are you happy with the way the E.P turned out, and how it was received by fans?

(DC) We love it! It's filthy, it's evil – and it's brutal. Progression? None. Or maybe? I have no idea. Don't really care. I analyse everything in this world except for myself. I'm probably afraid of becoming depressed?

Fans? Do we have fans? Hmm… Actually – we are spoiled as fuckin' hell when it comes to feedback. Except from one or two stupid fanzines that seem to figure that if you don't make anything brand new, innovative and never-heard shit – then you suck. Apart from these very few, reviews and feedback have been nothing but the opposite. Flattering – yet fully deserved.

We have been regarded with some really flattering offers for touring as well - with bands most of you have heard about, but these little fuckers (us) don't own a hint of shame - so we've let it down. We have our reasons.

We even somehow have managed to be well represented on a "wish list" for the next kick off at the legendary Inferno Festival. Probably because the rumours say that we'll bring loads of our Puke Bags and buy beer for anyone who fills it during our show…

(LC) Speaking of sick bags… what's with the sick bag that comes with the E.P?! And what is this rumour I hear about the possibility of you handing out freebies in return for fans sending you pictures of themselves puking whilst listening to your music?!

(DC) *Laughs* The Grotesque Hysterectomy PukeBag(TM) fell very natural to me when looking for an identifier for our band. We're brand new and we haven't played in any major band or in any of the thousand project-bands with the "legends" here in Norway. We need to stand on our own feet – so we build a character of our band. The PukeBag(TM) is ideal for it – and has given us a lot of attention.

And I have already mentioned some of these rumours – funny that you mention it ? There are too many rumours about these things. Hahahaha. Funny ones though. We have been discussing most of all the rumours though, so they are not entirely made up – but none of them have been agreed on yet. When such a thing is decided – it will be posted on our site when album is out.

(LC) Keep your eyes (and your stomachs!) peeled for that folks. What do you think are the benefits (or indeed, disadvantages) of releasing stuff on your band members own label?

(DC) Hmm… Well we don't get accused by other metal bands for being a sell-out!! (it's a pretty pathetic thing though… especially the bands and people in Norway who don't like the fact that some bands have huge success). Dimmu Borgir and Satyricon have gotten a lot of shit said because of their professionalism. Most bands from here, even quite a lot of the bigger bands – are not good bands. They all owe their "success/status" to the old legends like Dark Throne, Immortal, Burzum, Mayhem etc. Alex gets more experience for himself and his label. That's the main advantages. The disadvantage is all the work Alex has to do to push our name around – and shit knows that is not easy these days. And of course economics for recording and promoting are on a low.

(LC) Well, I personally am impressed with the quality of the final product, for what it's worth. What's the deal with the E.P not being available on CD though? Will the upcoming full length be vinyl only too?

(DC) We kinda fight over this every time we get together? We don't know yet. A CD has a bigger audience – pubs, clubs and in every home. Although vinyls are for the more dedicated and typically underground metalhead. The latter is of course a more obvious buyer than the others – but still... we have no idea. We'll have a fight when it's all recorded and the strongest one decides.

(LC) Yowzer, make sure the body armours to hand in that case! OK, final question, what is the next step for the band?

(DC) Hmmm, good question. Growing up, cutting our hair, dress like adults and getting into politics? Nah, I doubt it… I believe we need to record an album during the coming winter. Although fans are not many yet – we need to still work with getting our music out to the nations. Then when the album is recorded, we might look for someone who knows good and powerful music and wants to release it for us. We MIGHT. But today's labels prefer bands with "celebs" and/or gay-metal so I doubt there will be any offers *laughs*. We did get a mail from Earache asking for a 7" – but never heard from them again. They probably were too scared of supporting a politically incorrect band like Grotesque Hysterectomy.

(LC) OK, thanks a lot for your time. All the best for the future, and helping to keep the spirit of the underground alive and well! I'll leave the last words to you…

(DC) Thanx for both review and interview Lars, Grotesque Hysterectomy will buy you beer and hookers when you visit Oslo next time. Be sure to check out our myspace-site at myspace.com/grotesquehysterectomy for more information and MP3 samples. Hell out…

Other information about Grotesque Hysterectomy on this site

Review: Piercing Through

Review: Reek