The Metal Crypt - Abuse Interview

Interviews

Interview with OffalConsumer (Vocals)
Interview conducted by Barbara Williams (Crowley)

Date online: March 12, 2003

Hails everyone! How are you guys doing?

Offal: Abuse feels sorry for anyone else. Especially those unworthy of violation. However, NOTHING IS SAFE.

What made you form Abuse? How did you guys meet?

Offal: Mister Nasty, Big Pimp and Bitchslapper all formed Abuse in May '99. They whored my ass in September of that year after trying out a bunch of tight hairy pits with their uncomfortably huge members.

Who came up with the name?

Offal: Bitchslapper came up with the name. Band names aren't important. Violation is.

You just revised your website. Why?

Offal: When Mister Nasty went to jail, we had some serious thinking to do. So instead of that we just beat up a couple chicks and hired two new members, Mister Fister and Sinned. The next logical step was to update the site.

The names of your musicians are quite interesting. When Mister Nasty quit, Mister Fister took over. Why the similarity in these names?

Offal: The irony is that Mister Nasty went to jail the same day Mister Fister was released after serving his sentence.... FOR THE SAME TERRIBLE CRIME he was in.

I have to ask! What's with the sexist theme in your lyrics and your website? Your music kicks ass, but do you fear that you perhaps be turning some people (particularly women) off with the theme of your albums?

Offal: Only a bitch would ask a lame question like that!!! And I don't think music really has anything to do with what we do. AND any theme Abuse seems to have is accidental. This is our life, reflections of my childhood, growing up on rough streets, killing random women... you know, small-town stuff.

Death metal themes are pretty sexist and pretty degrading towards women. You, however, would have to be the most extreme. Is this intended to set you apart from what by now has become pretty much cliché?

Offal: As I said, this is no joke, but I agree that the Chris Barnes style of lyrical misogyny is VERY played out. As far as being extreme... that's getting pretty lame and standard nowadays too, no?

Are any of you in relationships?

Offal: Just celebrated my 2nd wedding anniversary and Bitchslapper is hooked up solid too. I don't really know Fister well enough to talk about his private life, but I will say that if there's a fetish orgy abound, Abuse is diving in head first.

And by the way, belated Happy Birthday, Mister Fister. (It's also nice to see that a man gets the lashes in your band) LOL

Offal: Fister accepts your invitations... when, where?

What's the scoop about the adversity about your band? Who slandered you and in front of whom? Anything you will do about this?

Offal: The point of the mission statement is not to bash Abuse haters. Naturally people with tiny penises will fear and envy us. The point is that there is no joke here. The fact that we play tunes is purely coincidental. We are trying to build an army of sickos and rapists, and have succeeded thus far. We are tired of being labeled as humorous. This IS the next level.

Do you think that people may be embarrassed or intimated by you and that's why they tell you that you're funny?

Offal: Honestly, I like being funny. They make me do this spiel and I've been attacked on more than one occasion for it. I need to get life insurance just to go to the grocery store or the pro-choice clinic where I'm a chef.

You have sold a lot of CDs. To what do you contribute your success? (I think you're fucking bad, despite your lyrics!!!)

Offal: You need to settle down about the lyrics. Would you rather watch Good Will Hunting or Dead Alive, Dances with Wolves or Cannibal Holocaust. The sickos follow us because our imagery isn't bullshit. It's for real. Women LIKE what we do. They do. We get laid quite a bit despite our shtick. This is for real, and people respect that. Even stupid bitches.

Any more CDs in the planning? How soon can we expect to see the next Abuse?

Offal: The next album is half written and you'll hear a lot of it in our live set lately. It's tentatively titled I'm So Horny...Nothing is Safe and should feature less groove, more grind and a cover of "Every Breath You Take" by the Police.

What inspires you when you write your lyrics?

Offal: You and your friends. Seriously, I lay down patterns and ideas after the music is finished. The band usually agrees on a song title and I write the lyrics to fill it in. I worship the vocals patterns of Andre Matos, Hansi Kursch and King Diamond and the vokill grunts of Matti Way, Frank Mullen, Lord Worm, and my dad late at night.

When you're not involved in doing your music, what kind of stuff do you like to do?

Offal: I'm a French chef, a Tawny Port connoisseur and my wife and I like to smoke a lot of BC dope and fuck a lot.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

Offal: A French chef and popular metal Singer/guitarist. Did it.

When was the first time you performed in front of an audience?

Offal: In grade eight I had a lead in the musical "Grease" and stole the show.

What was your first concert you ever attended?

Offal: Slayer and Judas Priest '89

Can you remember your most embarrassing drinking experience?

Offal: I don't drink heavily, but I've done every other drug and tons of 'em. PCP and weed are the best and I've had WAY too many embarrassing PCP nights/orgies.

Any good books or movies or good drinks or snacks we should know about?

Offal: Novels--American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis. Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte. Fight Club, Chuck Paliniuk.

Red Bull and Vodka, Warres "Otima" Port Corsets, Latex, Stockings and Goth chicks, Symphony X "V" and "The Foggy Dew" by anybody.

You are in Canada. How's the metal scene where you are?

Offal: Vancouver is alright. Decent scene with bands like the Gods of War Blasphemy and Zuckuss. Not big enough for Abuse though.

Will we see you in concert any time soon?

We are scheduled to play Sunday night of the Maryland Metal Fest this year in Baltimore and going on tour on the east coast after that with France's "Sublime Cadaveric Decomposition". Ladies, be ready and dressed up!!! I'm gonna wanna fuck.

Do you use stage props while performing?

Offal: We usually sneak in a small pyrotechnics show but.... you'll just have to come (cum) and see, Baby.

Musicians are rarely recognized. How do you parents and friends respond to your career choice. Have they always been supportive?

Offal: Assuming that I have parents is like assuming I'm human. My mom's great. So's yours.

Any last words to fans, enemies, people who just don't give a shit?

Offal: Find "Like a Virgin", swallow fear and RESPECT THE COCK!

Thanks, you guys. Put out more music. Horns Up!

Thanks so much for the interview!!!!! Cheers and may your sad wings of destiny, never lose a feather.

OffalCon the Metalgentleman