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Holy fuck. Never heard of this band before, despite that they are from Chicago, home of fellow killers like Forest Of Impaled and the mighty Usurper. Lair Of The Minotaur are more than worthy to join the most hallowed ranks of the heavy. Their debut Carnage was a delightful slice of old-school killing, but The Ultimate Destroyer flattens it – along with just about everything else. Normally, when a reviewer says "heaviest thing I've ever heard" it's just hyperbole, but probably not this time.

People have a hard time categorizing this band, as they don't follow any of the current trends. What LotM are all about is Celtic Frost – the good, old kill-you-with-my-riff Celtic Frost. To Mega-Therion Celtic Frost. Am I committing blasphemy by saying I think this album is every bit as good as that one? Well it is. Lair Of The Minotaur start with a bludgeoning riff attack, throw in Usurper-style bellowing vocals, and wrap it up in a guitar sound so thick it's got fur on it. The album title isn't really a name so much as a labeling of contents – turn it up and this fucking thing will crack your windows. HEAVY is the order of the day here, along with punishing riffs and lyrical themes about Greek myth reimagined as a horror movie filled with splattered blood, decapitations, and venom-drooling monsters. It is not possible to describe in words how much this kills. If you know their first album let me say that this wastes it all over the place, awesome as that album was. And if you don't know dick about this band just imagine the album Celtic Frost should have made instead of Cold Lake – and then go buy this fucking horned killing machine. This one goes on the 'Best Of 2006' list for sure.