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I'd like to think I have a rich music collection; one that covers most aspects of the musical world, from Puccini all the way through to Carcass, whilst staying mostly within the brackets of Gamma Ray and Dream Theater, and to my credit, I'd also like to think that most of what ends up on my shelves is a product of esteemed quality. However, my standards occasionally dip below par, and I find myself deeply discredited and personally feel victimized. One of those times was when I first placed "The Wildfire" into my stereo. I can remember the scene well, and considering I purchased Wuthering Heights' superb sophomore effort "To Travel Forevermore" on the same day, this horrendous debut album palled faster than your best mate's annoying girlfriend after a couple of bottles of Budweiser.

To set the story straight, as it were, I'd have to point out that I'm somewhat of a completist who happened to enjoy – and overtly eulogised – Wyvern's second and final album "No Defiance of Fate". Yes these Swedish medieval power metallers certainly had talent, although from listening to this shoddy debut, you'd never know it. "The Wildfire" is without question a youthful slice of good old fashioned battle metal complete with pummelling drums, shredding guitar solos and huge clan backing chants praising the lords of metal for giving them this chance to rock out in the middle ages. But it sucks major Orc shit. Not one note played on this album aroused my interests, as it is the same old Blind Guardian, Running Wild or Helloween riff we've heard before, only played so bad I was led to believe this was a really bad joke.

Opening the album proper, "Metal Maraud" might as well be the only track on here, as it fails to progress, evolve, or transform into anything from the first chord. The vocals are so out of key my glasses almost smashed the first time I heard it - especially the egregious falsetto this guy thinks he can perform. "Glory in the Sky" makes what use it can from the flat, anodyne and unprofessional production, whilst "Iron in the Night" kicks off with a striding intro so flamboyant Manowar would have had trouble keeping their faces straight. "March of Metal" slows the pace slightly, with some absolutely diabolical vocals from poor Eric Adams impersonator David Sperling, screaming such ostentatious bunkum as 'We are metal, and metal cannot die!'

If this is the prime example, I'd rather be listening to reggae.